Tuesday, March 31, 2009

So Today...

Was an okay day. I talked to my mom and little brother and to hear them was very good... therapeutic, I should say. Well, that is all. I'm kind of tired and I got big things to do tomorrow. Better posts are ahead :)


Saturday, March 28, 2009

What to do, What to think...

I know, I've been slacking. But its not like yall been reading. haha.

Anyway, I've been feeling a lot of pressure lately. Its like everything is coming at me from every angle at the same time and I seriously don't know if I can take it. I've always said that I work well under pressure, and that statement has more or less always been true for me. However, lately I think the pressure has become too much. I'm taking everything in stride and trying my best to keep the wheels moving, but everything just seems to be getting out of control...

I miss home. Like, a helluva lot. I miss having my parents scold me, messing around with my little brothers and picking on (and regretting later lol) my older sister about her height. I miss the comfort and security of knowing that no matter what, everything would be okay. Today, I checked my voicemail (from another phone, 'cause mine has gone bye-bye lol) and I heard my mom and sister's voices and I swear to God I was tearing up... Call me a sissy 'cause I don't give a fuck! but I'm over feeling like I'm in this on my own. Yeah, I've got friends and they're hella good people too, but if anything, its my family who truly understands my struggle...

When I look back at the person I was, I get hella disappointed in myself. Who I am now isn't who I envisioned four years ago. In the past three years, my life has taken so many sudden and unfortunate turns that, when I look back on it, I realize that isn't even me! I know everyone changes, but my question is can I change back? I would like nothing more than to be the quiet-book-worm-nerd who found satisfaction in the simple things in life. If the old me met the me right know, he would be shocked and disgusted. I've realized recently that I'm on the road of redemption; finally and actually realizing WHO I REALLY WANT TO BE and what I need to do get my life back on the right tracks...

Finally, I'd personally like to ask you for your prayers. Tough times are ahead and I really don't know how its going to end, only that it will be huge shift in my life... whether I'm ready for it or not.


Sunday, March 8, 2009


One life, One chance...Just so happens to be a very controversial phrase, to say the least. Don't get me wrong, controversy is good. It develops opinions and gives room for growth. However, the progress of controversy is hindered when closed-minded individuals refuse to be open to new meanings and concepts; when they refuse to rise to the challenge of making something out of this phrase. Mostly, progress is hindered because individuals continuously see things negatively, even though there is a chance to make a positive influence. Passion and creativity are lost in their one-minded crusade in search of "the right." Funny thing is, there is no "right," just a chance to make a positive difference and very few are rising to this challenge.

I don’t see ‘One Life, One Chance’ in a negative manner. I see it as a provocative and inspiring expression; a challenge to make a positive difference in our lives and the lives of others. I DO NOT see this phrase as saying, “You only have one life and therefore one chance. So if you fucked up your life or you messed up, you’re out of chances and there’s no hope for you.” This is the negative twist on what is meant to be a positive saying. I understand that people have gone through some shit and that they’ve risen from them; that they’ve had several chances to get their life back on track. Frankly, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t gone through the dirt or hit rock bottom, but they’ve always found a way to get back up. Simply put, I understand that life is all about chances (emphasis on the plural connotation)…

However, I don’t think that’s what the saying means… at least, not entirely. ‘One Life, One Chance’ says to me: This is my life. This is my time. I am here and now. This is my one chance to make a difference, my one chance to initiate change. This is my one chance to be someone and do something, my one chance to be a Christ-like example to others. This is my life, my living testimony and this is my chance to use it for good. Yes, I know human beings aren’t perfect. Yes, I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for us, thus affording us many chances in our lives. But you see, Christ’s life here on Earth was His chance to make a change and WHAT A CHANGE HE MADE! ‘One Life, One Chance’ challenges me to follow Christ’s example and allow my life…my ONE LIFE, because it is my ONE CHANCE, to make a statement on this earth.
It’s One Life, One Chance. It is a challenge to be somebody and do something. Christ said, “Take up your cross and follow me.” Your life right NOW is your CHANCE to do that. Several will rise to this challenge, and yet some will “fall like seeds to the wayside,” scorched and withered by the sun, ready to be devoured by the fowls of the air.

One Life, One Chance. The rest is up to you.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Yo, Yo, Yo

Yes, I'm still here. Haven't been updated a lot because its about that time called MIDTERMS! Yeah, talk about a bummer. So after I scatter my brains on lined paper, library keyboards and LCD screens, I will update. LOL. In the meanwhile, pray for me. The next few weeks is HELL =/