Back at it.

Apologies for the lack of updates, but its not I'm Christ with a multitude of followers, so a break from all this venting shouldn't have broken any eager hearts :)

Anyway, what did you miss? Nothing much, actually. The fall semester of my third year in Chaminade is over, and I'm slowly picking up the pieces before the new semester begins. I've been working a lot and I've been partying and going out way to much. Lesson learned there, I suppose.

Christmas was alright. I spent it at the Palolo House with friends and good food. Maybe New Years will be a repeat...? Hahaha. The island wide power outage was a trip! I got off work early AND I got Free Pandas... it can't get any better than that! LoL.

Other than that, I'm wishing I was a millionaire or something. I just hate where the shit is right now, ya feels? Ah well.

Redundant.

Shxt is getting so boring that boring isn't so boring anymore if that makes any sense. If it does please explain some of it to me :)

On the real.

On the real, I think money is the most important thing in the world (besides God and family) and the idiots who believe that money doesn't equal happiness are in denial and who are just trying to make up for their lack of game, lack of sucess and lack of money.

On the real, I think a guy or girl who cheats on their so-called "love" should be dumped and left for roadkill. Second chances are most likely to produce the original result and quite possibly more heartache for your stupid-forgiving-I-believe-in-love-naive-ass. Leave them for dead and move the fuck along, because you stupid "heartbroken" senseless asswipes are ruining the fun for the rest of us who don't have your problem.

On the real, I don't see the point in having large groups or cliques of friends if you hardly ever talk to them. "Trying to fit in" is high school shit and right now its every man for himself. Keep the friends who are contributing to your success and drop the rest to "acquaintence" status. Whoever said friends "last forever" really didn't have any real ones.

On the real, I hate where I am in life right now and I'm 99.9% sure I would sell my soul (I'm not specifying any potential buyers) to have all my problems solved and be a billionaire.

On the real, I'm really not in the "Christmas" mood this holiday season and I have half a mind to shank the next Santa Claus I see. When I have kids, they will know that daddy used his hard earned money to buy all the shit under the Christmas tree, not some fucking obese creepy white old man dressed in a smelly ass suit.

On the real, I don't have a girlfriend because I don't NEED a girlfriend. Actually, I'd much rather steer clear of the relationship area (please refer to the perivous "On the real...").

On the real, guys who think they're pimps are assholes and girls who mess around are total sluts. Trust me, I'm friends with several.

On the real, don't ever ask me if I have ever "hit that" (pertaining to a girl). Its none of your fucking business if I fucked that girl or not, and asking me if I "hit it" only makes me want to hit you. So STFU!!!

On the real, girlfriends/boyfriends who tell their significant others not to do certain things are crazy. If the bitch wants to smoke, fucking let her smoke, and if a nigga wants to drink, fucking let him drink! If you can't accept them the way they are, then stop fucking them and move along to someone else who will appreciate your dictating ways.

On the real, being messy and living like you reside in a pig-sty isn't "gangsta" its fucking filthy, and you wonder why you can't get a girl to sleep at your stank ass place.

On the real, humans are conniving, ruthless and most often heartless animals, and I'm truly grateful that I will be long dead before we are extinct.

The End mutherfuckers!

:)

Officially Done!

So I'm officially done with this semester and (oh boy! oh boy!) does it feel great! I think I've done the best I could under the circumstances that were given, and I'm just gonna roll with that. I'm not only going to hope and pray that next semester is a smashing success, I'm going to put a lot of hard work and effort into making it a success... my success. This semester was a let down/reality check/struggle for me, but I needed it and now its time to make a comeback.

(oh boy oh boy!) I'm excited :)

Love to me

Love to me is commitment,
Believing that our kiss fifty years from now
Will be just like our first;
Love to me is honesty,
Not the duty of being transparent
But the truth of being open;
Love to me is security,
The ability to protect love--
Our greatest treasure;
Love to me is blind,
Freeing yourself to the darkness of imperfections
And letting the light of love guide you;
Love to me is compromise,
Building a bridge across difficulty,
Even though we may not see eye to eye;
Love to me is sacrifice,
Not merely the ability to surrender
But to surrender and trust wholeheartedly;
Love to me is patience,
And knowing that through love
We can outlast anything;
Love to me is God,
And a heart lost in Him
Has the ability to love forever.

[idk what this is about. or why. LOL]

Off Guard.

Today was an interesting day. I'm still trying to understand everything but idk... God will work a way, right? Heres a blog that I wrote for MySpace on April 21st, 2008. I just think its ironic how it applies to me right now. Holla.

I am blessed. When I really sit down and think about it, I've come so far in this life than most people have in their lifetimes. And its not that I've never known that I was blessed, but I guess it was the fact that I let my struggles and trials shadow my progressions. Consistently I find myself dwelling on things that I should just let go, and also worrying about things that are out of my control. I let my problems overcome me that I begin to believe that they are bigger than what they seem. I know God would never give me a situation He knows I cannot handle, and I know that each time I come through, I grow.

Yet lately I've let the stress and the problems in my life become larger than what they were, and I began to lose sight of where I was going. I worry a lot, and if things aren't done right by my way, I begin to worry. I worry when life gets out of hand for me, and then I also worry when life tumbles out of control for many people, especially for my family. I worry about my aiga a lot. I know its natural, but at the same time its frustrating to know that they DESERVE to be at a better place in this life, and I can't do anything to help them.

But right now I'm giving it up to the one who controls all things.... slowly but surely I'm beginning to realize that I CAN'T do everything myself; I've been worrying about so many things that have been out of my control, and the most, and the BEST thing I can do is offer it up to the Lord. He is my Rock and my Salvation, and He never ceases to bring me through. I can be extremely impatient, and I'm slowly finding out that GOD'S DELAYS ARE NOT DENIALS. Just because a prayer isn't answered immediately, does not mean that it is not going to be answered. God's timing is the best timing, and He will do what is needed for us when the time is right, all we have to do is believe.

I guess I'm writing this as a reminder to myself; when I go through the coming weeks, months and years ahead, to never look down upon myself but to always count on God. To realize that I am blessed every time I take a breath of fresh air, every time I wake up to a new day, and every time I see the beauty of another's smile... I am blessed. To never let my problems and circumstances overcome my goals and to not take so much upon myself. If God put you to it, He will bring you through it.

:)


For those of you with finals, I hope you guys get through them with ease. Don't get too stressed out and remember that either way, it will all be over soon.

PEACE.

All Night Again.

So I'm pulling another all nighter. Detrimental? I guess. Productive? At most instances. Fun? FCUK YEAH! :) Especially if you're staying up with a bunch of naturally equipped crackheads! Haha.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from our crazy "study group."

"Is it shoplifting if you rape a prostitute?" -- Andrea G.

LMAO! The laughs will keep coming. This night is going to be something! HAHA.

Polynesian.

So it irritates me (just a little bit) when people NOT of Polynesian descent try and give me a (small) lecture and even try and argue with me on matters concerning anything Polynesian, particularly history. It also irks me even more when people of Polynesian decent try and argue with me and they're wrong, and they continue to insist that they're right. So I'm doing all of you a favor and giving you a little history lesson of the largest "nation" on Earth.

The ancestors of the Polynesian people, several historians argue, came out of Southeast Asia, more along the ways of Taiwan, etc. Though their origins are still up to argument and dispute, these peoples made their way across the Pacific Ocean to settle in what is known as the "Heart of Polynesia," where the people and culture we recognize today as "Polynesian" was slowly born. The exact location of the "Heart of Polynesia" presently remains a hot debate topic. Samoans claim it to be Samoa and Tongans claim it to be Tonga. However, many historians believe (and I peacefully concur), that the "Heart of Polynesia" consists of the three islands of Fiji, Tonga and Samoa. The histories, legends and lineages of these three islands are so intricately connected that it is hard to distinguish exactly which one was "the first" Polynesian island. The people who populated these islands, isolated for over a few thousand years, slowly became the ancestors of the Polynesian people.

After about 3,000 years or so, these first Polynesians began migrating from the heart to other parts of the Ocean. Although a definite reason why isn't known, it is speculated that war, shortage of land, food and supplies, and simply the urge to explore, led these seafarers to continue to explore and populate a huge part of the largest Ocean on earth. So the basic route of discovery that these early Polynesian discoverers took, agreed upon by most historians, kind of goes something like this:

From the "Heart" the early Polynesians sailed to, discovered and settled what is now known as Tahiti and the Marquesas Islands, in the rough center of what is now known as the Polynesian Triangle. From this group of islands, they settled what is now known as the Cook Islands; then to the islands of Hawai'i in the north, the islands of Rapa Nui (commonly known as Easter Island) in the east and, eventually, the islands of Aotearoa (commonly known as New Zealand) in the west. Many ask, what is the Polynesian triangle? Well, with Hawai'i in the north, Rapa Nui in the East and Aotearoa in the West, you can basically draw out what the Westerners came to define as the Polynesian Triangle due to the close similarity of the hundreds of peoples, cultures, and languages of all the islands within this "triangle."

I consider Polynesia a nation because of the close relationship between the cultures, languages and peoples of these many islands. It is no surprise that a Tahitian could easily pick up and learn Hawaiian, or a Maori learn Samoan, or a Tongan to learn Samoan. Physically, Polynesians generally look the same and carry the same genetic markers. Our cultures, values and morals are also quite similar, and it is easy to adapt to and learn the customs of our sister-islands. In my opinion, Polynesians are one people with one language, which, over the years, became many people with many dialects.

The islands of Polynesia, though subject to Western influence and power, still proudly carry the culture, language and customs of our ancestors from thousands of years ago. And if you have any doubt about what you have just read here, take yourself to a library, sit your arse at a computer, check out some books and start reading. Because the next time you begin an assumption about Polynesia, I won't hesitate to cut you up.

:)

All Night.

Been up all night. Semi-productivity. I'm going to be tired as fcuk today.... and cranky as hell. Shiet! ha!

Down.

I'm not depressed. People like me DON'T get depressed. We make fun of the idiots who get depressed, but we don't get depressed. Not EVER. LOL. No, I'm in a recession. Just like Uncle Sam's economy. But on the real though, I can't help feeling the way I do. Shit just ain't looking up for me! I don't know, I guess I've been TELLING life what I want instead of ASKING... because I keep getting sidetracked off my game, my goals and my dreams. Yeah, Yeah, I know people are here for me. I got people who got my back, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, I really do. But I just wish I had a clone of myself so I could vent to myself about myself.... does that make sense? I don't give a fuck! People got my back but I'm wondering if they really got my heart. 'Cause at the end of the day that's all that matters. Seriously though, I'm really hoping and praying that the new semester brings better Karma for me, because this semester was a hella tough ride to go through. However, I'm grateful that even through all the grimy situations, the pain and the heartache, I'm still making it to class and making all this shit count.

Okay. This seriously was my most random post. Im out ---

Over it.

Stressing again. And no, its not because of finals. Believe me, I handle "finals stress" pretty well. Its the fact that fate decided to bring all my situations crashing down on me ON finals week! I wish my head were bigger so that I could distribute the worry evenly throughout it. I wish my heart were bigger so that I didn't feel this much pain all at one time. *sigh* Ah well. Everything comes to pass. I guess its the wait thats killing me, because Heaven knows I don't have the patience to see all of this shit play out. Ah well...