Thursday, January 15, 2009

Testing, Testing.

So I've been on and off on the whole blogging thing. I'm sorry but the internet doesn't run my life (not all of it, anyway! lol). Since I've been off for quite a while I'm going to try and make this one count (as in, longer than two paragraphs).

Well, the Spring Semester 09 has officially started and I'm hoping to do as great as I did (academically speaking) as the past Fall Semester. My class schedule is kind to speak. I really enjoy it (much to the envy of others lol) not to have classes on Mondays and Fridays. However, I will need this much free time because I will be busy with academics, work and especially, CUH's Awakening Retreat. Its going to be a challenge but I hope and pray things work out. I'm really(x1000000) trying to manage my time (and money) well this semester. In terms of classes... so far they seem interesting and challenging. I'm taking three Upper Division English courses and two Upper Division CJ courses... so its no surprise that I will have TONS of papers to write this semester and TONS of research to do. YAY ME =/ Since I'm on the topic of academics, I'm extremely praying and hoping that I get picked for an Internship with the DNC (Democratic National Committee) during the summer. I'm applying through a program they are offering through the community college back home and although I know several young and talent Samoan students also want this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I WANT IT HELLA BAD!! [venting continued in second paragraph]

I mean, AN INTERNSHIP AT THE NATIONS CAPITAL WITH THE PARTY IN POWER ANNNND WITH SEVERAL OF OUR COUNTRY'S MOST INFLUENTIAL LEADERS (not to mention the soon-to-be-President Barrack Obama)... how could someone NOT want it? This is the opportunity I've been waiting for to go out there and really get myself involved with Politics (which, if you don't know right now, I'm really passionate about) and to get the experience I need and also awesome references if I plan to get into Law School someday. Anyway, its obvious I'm uberExcited about this and I'm praying I get it... hopefully my luck turns.

Now, on to some other stuff that's been on my mind since yall are so eager to know. hahaha =/

So yeah, I am super psyched about this semester and all but I can't help but feel stuck because I still haven't a place to call my own. Over the break I had friends who said they could pull through and help me but little by little shit started to fall through, and before you know it, I'm stuck with my bags packed (AGAIN!), my ass on someone else's couch and all my hopes nearly drained completely. I am extremely truly a billion times a billion times grateful for the friends who've opened their doors and made available their beds, futons and floors (HK FOR LIFE! lol) for me to crash on. I really don't know where I'd be if I didn't have such great friends and nothing can truly match how in debt I am to all of you =]

Every night I go to sleep I pray I wake up from this mess. I mean, the way things were are going to stay that way, and I'm trying to let go and force myself to move on but shit... life just isn't letting me up these days. And some people have asked why I just don't go get my own place. Well, I wish it were that easy. I work a Part-time job with minimum wage, which by the way doesn't even give me a lot of hours, so my paycheck hardly makes it past the 200 mark. My parents don't make all that much and I know they would help me out, but I'd rather that money go to helping my little brother get into a top college because he's worked extremely hard all his life to deserve it; go to helping my sister take care of my awesomest-bestest nephew in the world so she can concentrate on school and work; go to help keeping up the house and the acres of land we own and live on because no one else is there to do it, because my siblings and I are away from home; go to my parent's health care.... I don't have rich uncles, aunties, god-parents or relatives that I can call or depend on...hands-down-truth-out, I don't have the money or the means to get my own place. All I have is a prayer and a hope for miracles...

Five years from now, I'm hoping to look back on this whole situation and find myself smiling... because I made it through. Ironically, its the hope of the future I want that keeps me going in the present. Sure, I thought about giving up, but what good would that be to me? Giving up isn't an option, because options give you choices. If I give up, what choice would I have next?

Ah well, I guess life is just testing, testing, testing me... and damn I hope I pass with flying colors... or at least a bed. LOL.

Well, I think this blog is long enough to entertain you until my return... in week or two. LOL.

peace easy.

No comments: