These are the words I'd like to say. These are the words you refuse to hear.
I know I'm to blame for whats happened to you. There is no sugar-coating it, covering it up or trying to lay it out in some good way. I'm at fault and there is no other way to put it. Your anger is justified. Your reaction to the situation is understandable. And thats what tears my heart to pieces. The fact that what is happening to you is my fault my fault my fault my fault. If I could do anything to reverse my decisions, I would do so in a heartbeat. I'm powerless to save you from what I brought upon you.
I'm sorry. And I know I'm not worthy of your forgiveness.
Your friendship means more to me than I think you know, or ever will know. You not talking to me and shutting me out of your life is understandable as much as it shocks me. Out of all my friends and acquaintences, having you not speak to me hits me the hardest. Truthfully, I've never realized how much your friendship and relationship means to me until I lost it.
All I can say is that I'm sorry. You are such a huge, inpsiring and wonderful part of my life. I just don't know how to get that back, and asking for it may as well be asking for too much.