Friday, October 3, 2008


Today just isn't my f**king day. I have hella shit to do but I'm too damn irritated, worried, angry and distracted to actually do anything. Actually, the past couple of weeks have been the worst I've experienced. I lost a job and a place to stay, and I'm hella fighting to keep my head above the water. Everyone says its gonna be okay but I also know what they're thinking but not saying: that it was my fault. I know the mistake I made and now I'm paying for it and I thank them for not reminding me of it. I'm realizing how ill equipped I am to deal with this shit. I'm literally living off of the kindness of friends & strangers and although I know God is with me, I seriously don't know how I'm going to deal with this shit. I need a job, I need to find a place and to top it off I'm stressing and fighting to keep my grades up and my ass in school. I tell people that I'm good but it ain't the truth. I'm sick of staying up when everything is going downhill. I feel like I'm stuck and shit just ain't moving and nothing is going my way. I know God never gives us situations we cannot handle, but I think I'm on the brink of losing it on this one...

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